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Always remember you're unique, just like everybody else. >:-|

Kissing is just a way of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other. >:-|

True friends don't stab you in the back - they shoot you, it's more humane. >:-|

The average person doesn't give a shit about the average person. >:-|

It doesn't matter how passionate a relationship is at first. the passion soon disappears and there had better be lots of money to take its place. >:-|

If at first you don't succeed, you're a lousy failure. >:-|

There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss ask you for a ride home from the office. >:-|

You are what you don't throw up. >:-|

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children. >:-|

150 million blood cells in your body have died while you were reading this sentence. >:-|

Every hour there are 9700 extra people on the Earth. Go back to bed and ponder your own insignificance. >:-|

The Golden Rule: Whoever has the gold makes the rules. >:-|

All the good ones, no matter what they are, are already taken. >:-|

Most smiles are started by another smile. Or someone falling over. >:-|

Pessimists see problems and optimists see challenges. But they're still problems. >:-|

Wherever you go you meet stupid people. >:-|

It's the stupid people who prevent us from doing what we want. >:-|

Life's a bitch, and then she had puppies. >:-|

When you are feeling down, give a little whistle. It won't make you feel better, but at least it will piss everybody else off. >:-|

Spring makes everything look filthy. >:-|
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